This past week I have been looking deeply into “what is love.”  My deep dive was first triggered by a once loving relationship that had seemed to let go of the love part.  The other initiation into love was the Russian attack on Ukraine. 

On this journey I received synchronistic input from spiritual teachers Tomas Pinkson and Babaji, who were also asking about love. 

So I will put this question to you too.  What happens in a friendship when one of the people does something that hurts the other leading to disappointment, sadness and/or anger?  Where did the love go when we get pissed off?  Can we move beyond our mindset or do we stay locked there forever? 

Babaji talks about freedom and how we imprison ourselves by hanging onto thoughts, ideas, memories that no longer serve us.  Our mind creates bondage.

In this one particular relationship I had imprisoned myself in “I don’t like you anymore because of xyz”. Then why was it so impossible for me to let go of the memories of love.  Love/not love had become such a paradox.  Where did the love go? 

And with the Ukraine travesty I was dropped into my family roots.  My dad had been born in Kiev and his family had escaped when he was about 5 or 6.  I had never asked him about that experience but now I was curious even though he was no longer alive.  I asked my uncle, his half-brother (born in the US) — what did their dad tell him about escaping.  His dad (my grandfather) told him that he saw many of his friends and family killed trying to escape, that he was lucky.  So was I.

For many reasons I had a very complicated feelings with my grandfather -love/hate and often held my grandfather in a lot of contempt yet suddenly I saw him in a whole new light.  I loved him for his courage, for bringing his family to safety and for making my life possible. I also began letting go of so much judgement about his behaviors.  I was more free to love him, even if he was no longer earth-bound.  

So these instances of questioning what is love in a way that I had never done before, has helped open me to feel and be more loving, accepting, forgiving.  Accepting that love is who we are. 

When I used to try to define God, I always came to a place that God is love.  And since we each have a divine spark in us, we are love too. 

Can we send love to Putin, will that get him to change his behavior, probably not?  Can we send love to the terrorists, white supremacists hoping that they will change?  We can certainly be in a state of loving compassion, which influences the field around us, we are not projecting hate.  And though those people who most need love may not change or feel it, we/I am not contributing to the field of hate and anger or hopelessness.  I’m not talking about being a pollyanna but instead asking of myself, how do I want to feel and can I feel love instead of hate? That doesn’t mean we don’t challenge people with different ideologies rather we can do it without venom. 

After all, we are all connected.  We’ve certainly witnessed that with the Covid pandemic.  We share the same molecules of air, sooner or later.  So what if I decide that I want to send out molecules/energy of compassion, how can that hurt? 

For the past few years I have been teaching only online and this morning I realized that the blocks of faces in a zoom meeting provide us with a loving closeness that may not ever happen face to face in the same room.  We can see each other and feel the connection and commitment to be together.  To me that’s meeting love online. People share in a way that’s different from being in a room together, as much as I miss that.  Zooming takes us into another realm. 

Yet I have decided to not teach another program until May.  Romancing Your Cells, an invitation to fall in love with your cells and your cellf.  Why give up a source of loving?  Life is demanding me to focus and complete the MicroCosmic Wisdom cards, guidebook, and videos.  I am not a multi-tasker.  So the only offerings for the next 2 months will be private Elemental Guidance Readings and the free monthly Cancer support group.

I’m realizing as I write this I am exerting an act of self-love to focus totally on completing what I started decades ago, spend time in nature and be open to sharing one-to-one. 

Please feel free to write me your feelings about love and life.  

. from Pam Grout