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I recently had an amazing experience of LETTING GO of Anger, Resentment, and Angst.  I wrote about it in my recent newsletter and wanted to expand it here.

I’d been looking to move since September  yet hadn’t found the right place.  It was grueling and time consuming looking through Craigslist, driving miles to see places, and nothing I really liked.  Or when I did  someone else beat me to it. I was pretty disheartened and knew if I didn’t find a place by the beginning of November I wouldn’t move until after the new year.  I must admit that I was pretty depressed about the whole thing.

One afternoon the first week of November  I was into my daily internal rant about how I hated where I was living, thinking about all the things wrong with it, when some inner voice asked, how does being discontented with what is, serve you? Of course, discontenment can be a motivation to get things moving but wallowing in it,  doesn’t help.  In that sweet second or two my thinking switched to how grateful I was for the home that has nurtured me in the last year.  I remembered all of the things that did work, that I had appreciated.

A total surrender to letting go of what didn’t work to what is working. I felt it in my body, like loosening the strings that held me into the negative perspective. Sure, I had let go of things in my mind before, this felt different.  My body softened, especially in my heart area.

If you’ve read my Secrets of Your Cells book or have taken programs with me you know how important the strings of our cells are for managing tension, consciousness and energy.

When I was holding on to what I didn’t like about my current living situation, it contracted me, made me tense and unhappy.  It kept me stuck.  How often do we get into that place?  So why not turn it around to what was beneficial about my situation, wouldn’t that soften my cells, my self, my attitude?

So I truly let go of disappointment and disillusion about not finding a new place, surrendering to the likely reality that I wouldn’t be moving until the new year.

Less  than a half hour later, the owner of the place I really wanted called to ask me what kind of carpet I’d like put in. I was at the top of their list to rent the cottage. To me, this was like a sudden affirmation of what can happen when we let go of the angst while appreciating ‘what is.’ I felt that a space had opened inside of me to receive something new.  Or at least that’s how I’ve interpreted the situation.

So now a few weeks later I am sitting in my new cottage pleased to finally be in a living situation that has everything on my ‘essentials list.’

The very next day a similar thing happened.  I probably would have called it a “coincidence” if I had not had a positive LETTING GO of angst experience the night before.  A dear friend of mine was going to an inn that I had enjoyed many times with a love relationship that had gone south about a year ago.  We had ended our romance in so much anger, resentment, and fury, I for sure, never wanted to talk to him again.  My friends asked me didn’t I want to talk to him since we had been friends for decades.  My response – NO WAY.

Yet as we spoke I began to remember  some of the good things in that relationship, gratitude for what we had shared.  I felt real appreciation at what I had discovered about myself in relationship and how sweet we both had been, at times.  I did recall the good times we had shared, a shedding of the anger.

When I arrived home, waiting was an email from this old friend asking could we still be friends. This was after a year of no contact.

Both of these situations confirmed to me that when we truly let go of what’s not working or what we don’t like, we create space for receiving something else.

It’s so easy to hold resentments, far easier than forgiveness or appreciation.  And yet what good does it do for our health – physical or emotional – to live resenting.  I interpret the physical change I had in both of these lettings go as my cells no longer were attached to the old story.  When we (and they) let go, our energy changes, our consciousness changes, new possibilities exist.  Some would say when we let go we let G-d in.

And as I write this I realize that it’s not so easy to fully let go, its an inside job, for sure. And yet, now I know the potential.

Instead of why not, how about why yes.

Scientist-photographer author and teacher bringing together science, art and sometimes the sacred. PhD biochemist, post-doc in immunology and years of teaching mindbody health and sensory awareness. Looking within with a microscope my vision of the world has changed, yours might, too.